The problem with perfection and how to use it to combat fear

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Have you ever felt a fear big enough that it put you in a state of not being able to do anything about it?

Of not even committing to put pen to paper to write that list, or that goal, or that first sentence about yourself or your business for either fear of being judged, or fear of your fear itself becoming a reality and just too scary for comfort?

I have. It’s why it took me so very long to begin writing ‘Creative Foundations’ – its what froze me from moving my business forward faster than I have. It’s what put the fear of God in me about going to University after A-levels (I went at 27 years old!) that whole thing about committing to a path that ultimately might change things for the better, might make me or my future better.

I know its crazy isn’t it?

We actually stop doing things that might improve our situations purely because we’re scared.

We hold ourselves back.

But what is it that we’re scared of?

Is it fear of being judged?

Of becoming good enough when we’ve felt the opposite for so long?

Or are we really just scared of improving our situations?

Of change itself.

Of the unknown.

Don’t get me wrong I know that change can be a scary thing, I for one get scared of change often, but at other times its the most exciting possibility that could ever exist to the point it becomes exhilarating.

And right now is one of those times.

We got married this year, we have a baby on the way, I’ve just finished writing my first book and have a full programme for mentoring. I also have online courses to be released in the new year. These are all huge life changing things that mean so much to me because I love doing them and have followed a long path to get here – because I’ve put my heart and soul into creating them and invested so much of myself, my hard earned and my time in them too.

But I have never openly felt this way before without any fear of change – and I’m SO excited! Partly to be doing these things and to have been given the opportunity to and partly to not be feeling the fear!

What changed things for me and taught me to embrace change was actually realising that perfection – is HIGHLY over rated.

Our societies obsession with perfection is in fact one of the most damaging things that exists and is instilled into each and every one of us daily by the media – has been since we were small.

But being able to realise that in actual fact, it’s rarely ever something that is achievable (who puts the rules in place for what it means anyway?!), isn’t humanly relatable (um, how many of us out there really can identify with being absolutely perfect?) and often just makes people feel like its untouchable.

These are all things that I didn’t want for my life or my business.

I want my business to be accessible to all not untouchable or just for the ‘elite’ or the ‘clique’. I also want for everyone around me to know that success – on your own terms – is achievable for all and is completely valid even if you don’t feel that your business or product is ‘perfect’ because hey remember – its hard for us to relate to perfect!

Perfect just ‘is’ and well, thats about it really – who ever has more to discuss about ‘perfect’ other than just calling it that and moving on. It becomes forgettable. And none of us want our businesses to be that.

This revelation caused me to write a chapter about fear and perfection in ‘Creative Foundations’ – it actually turned things around for me that much that I wanted to share it with you, in a hope that it might stop fear from holding you back in your business too.

My hope is that I can teach my baby to live outside of the societal pressure to conform to the concept of ‘perfect’ also – that the most important thing to strive for – either in life or in our businesses is that we feel good.

Authentically and from the heart, well and truly good.

I want you to feel that too – not only for yourselves but because emotion is also another foundation stone to a successful business.

I have since realised that a lot of things I love because they are imperfect – and it was those imperfections that made me love them even more.

So what if this product or service that you’re offering isn’t within the concept of 100% perfect? It’s still completely valid, it’s still beautiful, the process you went through to create it is still incredible and people will absolutely still love and appreciate it.

Would you turn down a diamond ring that isn’t 100% clarity with no flaws? Me neither! Why? Because it was the scruffy old vintage box it arrived in and the nervous proposal in the rain that it came with that made you fall in love with it right? It was the individuality of the moment and of the ring itself and what it means to you to have that memory that makes you love it.

It’s what will make your client fall in love with you and with your work no matter what too.

And isn’t it only ourselves that puts the pressure on to be or create something so ‘perfect’ that we end up frozen, rabbit in the headlights in fear?

We, dear creative heart, are the risk takers that stand up, brave enough to create things from the heart in the first place. We should be proud of that, celebrate it.

I believe that working on the barriers of fear, breaking those down, will give us all more confidence to get out there and show people what it is that we do and why. Especially because its not perfect but because it makes us happy and makes our clients happy too because they can relate to that. To it not being perfect but being human, vulnerable, beautiful and emotional too. And embrace it they will.

Heres to being brave.

If you’d like to read more on emotion in business as well as perfection and fear, ‘Creative Foundations’ is on pre-sale now with a -10% offer on the cover price until this Saturday, December 19th. 

This eBook is an investment into your business. It’s formulated as part mentoring session, part guide book and part workbook to ensure that what you get out of it is fully personalised to help you improve your business foundations and therefore future, too.

Much love.

Kiki xo

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kiki
I've always had an unfounded belief that anyone can be anything they want to be. Most probably fuelled by my love for Peter Pan (JM Barrie you have a lot to answer for!) I honestly believe its fully possible for anyone to create a life that they love through their creative passions. Always having had a creative heart I have spent my life dabbling in and out of various media, studied Fine Art Photography as a degree and have worked with over 3,000 creatives since starting my own business. Having reached a point where I have a great quality of life from the way I am able to work, I am now fully dedicated to helping others push forward with their own creative businesses to gain a life that they love and a business that works for them. You'll find me happiest out walking with my dog Nell, travelling the world with my Mister, working from my home studio or at the flower market gathering natures gifts for my latest photography project.

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