Why I won’t be working the same way I did before I got married.

by . Categories - Being Incredible, Business Plan, Chosen Wedding Collective, Creativity, Entrepreneurs, Good to Know, Inspiration, Now, Posts, Time Management, Tips & Tricks, Uniquely You. Total of 2 comments in the discussion.

Ok hands up here, I’m finding it a little hard to get back into the swing of things work wise but I also have to admit I don’t intend on working the way I did before we got married.

The first half of this year – and the most part of last year, was just so crazy. My husband (squee!) and I worked our socks off to earn the money to have the wedding that we had our hearts set on and giving our friends and family a good time, we pushed aside time for ourselves, for each other and for any outings or breaks away. We worked evenings, weekends and took on any extra work we could find and four weeks ago we had the most incredible wedding day.

We were also so very fortunate (and super grateful) to have had some assistance in being able to go on the honeymoon of our dreams to the Maldives and it couldn’t have been a more perfect place for us. After grafting for so long, somewhere where we could completely wind down was totally the order of the day.

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It took us about a week to unwind, going day after day of wondering why we weren’t doing something, getting a little restless, then figuring out we were physically and mentally tired so forcing ourselves to actually STOP and take a nap or a break. And it took about 5 days for me to technology detox.

But it was the best thing I have ever given myself.

I can’t even begin to explain the benefits I am still feeling from just letting go and switching off from persistently checking emails, from answering messages, from scanning Facebook and I haven’t even been back on twitter as yet! My mind is quieter, my nerves are quieter and in general I’m really rather zen and I would quite like to keep it this way!

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Life moves so very fast in the UK. We as small business owners have no choice but to move with it.

To push, to strive, to work towards whatever it is that our hearts desire or find places that we long to get to, only to get there and to find out that we now want a little more or something a little different. Which is fine – but less about tomorrow and more about today and right now!

Whats really crucial to any of us creative beings is having the time and mind space to allow ourselves to just feel that creative juice flowing in the first place.

Its all too easy to push and keep pushing and after all, if we need to make the money to pay the rent of course we have to. But, its much easier to push when you have a little space to remember why, to reassess where you are pushing forward to get to and to give yourself a little break to gather the energy to keep moving.

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Our goals are things of beauty, places that we long to get our businesses to, we’re lucky that we have these ideas in the first place, dreams and possible ways to get to fulfill them and I wouldn’t know how to even contemplate living a life without them…

BUT…

The most kind gift you can give yourself is that of time and space.

Giving myself some space away from social media, from checking my emails on my smartphone every half an hour has done me the world of good. And I don’t intend on going back to doing so one bit.

I now feel fully able to deal with tasks that ARE urgent or tasks that are going to drive my business forward, or make me happy or fulfilled. Rather than busying myself with EVERYTHING or scanning and reading everything I can on Facebook to learn about one thing or another (four out of five Facebook articles I was reading really weren’t of benefit to me anyhow!) I am now more careful with my time and energy.

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My mentor posed a suggestion to me when joined her programme – to keep a timesheet of what I was doing HOURLY – to figure out where my time was going and to help me prioritise where I actually wanted it to go.

Before our wedding life was so busy that I had no chance of putting it into action, but with a little break away I’ve come back recharged and refocused and less worried about ensuring everything is done within an uber urgent time frame. Most of those things, really weren’t urgent in the first place – it was just my placing urgency on them that made them so. Chances are that you do it too.

We want to offer the best to our clients, to be swift in replying to them, to get everything possible done that we can do in a day. But will it really make that much difference if we place a little less stress on ourselves to make ourselves into superwoman for our clients, friends, family and partners?

 

Would it be the end of the world if you took a little longer to do things? gave yourself a little break?

 

Or perhaps prioritise a little differently?

 

I figure that without taking care of myself, of my mindset, of feeling a bit more peace inside of myself, there would only ever be a percentage of my efforts that were going to go into anything I was doing and I want to be whole hearted with things that I do.

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I had a little time to re-focus my energy whilst we were away. To put myself, my health and well being first above work which may sound like something easy to do, something that common sense would tell you to do but in practise really isn’t all that easy to work into everyday life.

So my question to you is what can you do to give yourself a little break?

 

What can you do to rest your mind?

 

What can you do to step back a little or work out where you are spending all of your time and figure out whether it’s worth it?

 

Ideally it would be an incredible thing to be paid for those things that we love the most and not have to do the things that we hate. But along with having a creative business, we also have those things that we have to do – the admin, the accounts, the online marketing.

 

So where are you spending most of your time?

 

If you’re spending a high percentage of your time doing the tasks that you don’t enjoy (and do go ahead and work out what you are doing by the hour – it certainly shocked me when I looked back at my record after a week!) the chances are that you’re really going to be feeling it.

That your energy is probably low.

That you’re wondering why you’re doing what you are.

That you may have lost the love or drive for your business.

That you’re tired.

 

So take a break.

 

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I’m not suggesting that you have to raise funds for a holiday here, but even a half an hour walk outside somewhere, once a day, or an evening off of work, a weekend off or simply a social media blackout for a day or more, these things can work wonders.

Yes, its probably one of the most commonly reported things to do and I myself have read countless articles telling me to do so but taken absolutely no notice at all! But in this instance, I can whole heartedly with all of my soul tell you, it truly is the most incredible feeling.

If you’re stuck in the mindset that you have to keep busy EVERY MINUTE of the day, please do an hourly chart, work out where and why you are busy and how you can readjust your schedule to allow yourself a little more time to relax or to be creative or to recharge or spend time with loved ones. Write everything down. And I mean everything, every task, how long it takes, how much of each hour you’re spending on doing that thing and you’ll soon see where you can jiggle things around.

We run our own businesses to allow ourselves a quality of life that we just wouldn’t get working a 9-5 in an office with commuting time etc. but so rarely do we actually give ourselves time to remember that or put it into practice.

 

If you know where you’re able to take a moment, I urge you please, do so and do so with kindness to yourself.

 

Switch that phone off!

Switch it off when you’re working too – stop the distractions, the procrastination and get shit done so that you can have time to rest, or create, or re-assess your path.

Your business needs to work for you AND NOT the other way around. You really can make it do so.

Please, whether you have to wait until the weekend, or can take a few hours out tonight – unplugged – do it.

Calm your mind, give yourself some space to NOT think about work and I promise you’ll reap the benefits of a fresher mind and fresh ideas really soon.

 

And my new (married) life target?

To make my business work more whilst I work less and I’ve discovered a way to make it my reality.

More soon. xxx

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All photography by Kiki-Sunshine Boonwaat – all rights reserved, please do not copy, reproduce or re-publish without permission.

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kiki
I've always had an unfounded belief that anyone can be anything they want to be. Most probably fuelled by my love for Peter Pan (JM Barrie you have a lot to answer for!) I honestly believe its fully possible for anyone to create a life that they love through their creative passions. Always having had a creative heart I have spent my life dabbling in and out of various media, studied Fine Art Photography as a degree and have worked with over 3,000 creatives since starting my own business. Having reached a point where I have a great quality of life from the way I am able to work, I am now fully dedicated to helping others push forward with their own creative businesses to gain a life that they love and a business that works for them. You'll find me happiest out walking with my dog Nell, travelling the world with my Mister, working from my home studio or at the flower market gathering natures gifts for my latest photography project.

Comments - 2 Responses to “Why I won’t be working the same way I did before I got married.”

  1. Sarah Dillingham says:

    I’m hearing this! glad you gave yourself the break you deserve Kiki.

    I think you’re right. It’s so easy to get caught up on the to do list that we forget to take a break and recharge. It’s once we’ve recharged that we have our best ideas, and are at our most productive!

    Beautiful photos too – which resort did you stay at?

  2. wise words Kiki! We all run around crazily and when we stop being busy we achieve far more!So looking forward to working with you in the Autumn.

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